Sunday, March 28, 2010

You know what I find awkward?

So recently I was in a moment where I was having my picture taken and that in turn made me think of another moment involving pictures. That always awkward family photo.....that’s not with your family.
You all know what I'm talking about. There you are at a family function of your significant others. Maybe a grandmother’s birthday or God help you a family reunion. You meet everyone. Take in stride the jokes about how awesome your current girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend is. Come to accept that no one there can remember your name, but can only come up with some similar name that starts with he same first letter as yours. Pretty much all tolerable and part of a relationship.

Then the pictures start.

Not just the random candid photos that will without a doubt catch you taking a huge bite of the hotdog your girlfriend’s uncle cooked using his secret hotdog marinade. I'm talking about the family memories forever photos. The one where all the kids, grandkids, cousins, nieces and nephews line up for a cherished picture to be used in next year’s Christmas card. You do your best to distance yourself from everyone once these pictures start. All of the sudden that gate on the other side of the yard needs an inspection.  Oh my! I know I work at a restaurant but I just got a really important email on a Sunday afternoon of all days.... Anything not to get caught up in one of those pictures.

Then, without fail, your hear "Hey Clayton, or Clanton, or Clinton, or Clappy, or Clamato, get on in there!"

Damnit. Now you’re stuck and you know it. The more realistic members of your girlfriend's family make that "He's not really part of the family and they have only been dating for a couple of months so do we really need him in the photo of Nana’s birthday" face. And you know that they can all see the "I hardly know these people and the fact that I'm in a relationship with one of their 3rd cousins doesn't mean I need to be in this picture" face your making. But, social manners dictate that no one says anything. The worst is when you don't even get to be in the picture next to your girlfriend but you get stuck to her cousin whose finger she warned you to never pull.

This is one of those situations where you just wish that reason would prevail. If you could just logically explain to them that while I do have feelings for your cousin/niece/daughter, a marriage isn’t really on the table and why risk it? We may not last another month so why take the chance that in a couple of years when even Mi Maw is questioning her mental capacity she'll look at this picture and have to ask who is this young man standing next to Lewis in my 75th birthday picture? What time does my program come on tonight? Is it Lewis or Larry?........

My point being why take a picture that is going to be around forever that has a guy in it who more than likely isnt going to be around forever?

Reading this you’re probably thinking that this is just a metaphor for fearing commitment. It's not. I mean I don't want to say if I am or am not afraid of commitment. Do we really need to label my feelings on commitment? Let’s just play it by ear.

2 comments:

albrightime said...

Love it, clappy!! Funny funny : )

NatalieCottrell said...

But, Clappy, you're so photogenic. Can't blame them, really.

Maybe you need to start mentioning a "condition" of yours prior to family functions; tell your lady that flashes of light (such as that of a camera) tip off violent, ugly spells of rage. At least then you'd be justified taking out your discomfort on said fence after the fact.

Just an idea.